The problem is when you set your expectations too high and you feel like you are failing every day. The problem is when you set your expectations too high and you feel like you are failing every day.

When being "that girl" becomes too much to bear

The recent "that girl" TikTok trend is a double-edged sword, while it advocates for a healthier and happier life, it makes us feel that we always fall short of our expectations, and this has to stop.

The self-care craze exacerbated from 2020 on. I think one of the reasons why we became obsessed with skincare, self-care, and self-love, is that we were forced t stay inside for too long and we thought that we had to make the most of the time at home so as not to "waste our lives away." I do believe, however, that this turned against a lot of us.

During the first weeks of social distancing, I did not think much of it I used the extra time to organize my home, my closet, draw and binge-watch series I hadn't had time to watch before, I baked, cooked, overate, drank way too much soda until I realized the pandemic was not going away any time soon and I stopped pretending I loved to bake, organize, work from home and so on.

That is when I became obsessed with self-care. I don't think there is a problem with taking care of yourself, the problem is when you set your expectations too high and you feel like you are failing every day.

When being "that girl" becomes too much to bear

The problem is when you set your expectations too high and you feel like you are failing every day. 

Waking up early, doing exercise, having a healthy breakfast, prepping your meals, doing your skincare routine, work, being productive, being pretty and happy... It was just too much for me. What happened then? My self-care quest backfired and I dedicated myself to eating junk food and just relaxing.

I'm never going to be "that girl" that wakes up at 5, goes running, and has her day organized at 10 AM, that's just too far from my reality. But what I did manage to do, is to wake up at a reasonable time, go to the gym every day and make a habit out of it, and that made me extremely happy -just that, taking up only one healthy habit.

At some point, I think that that was what I needed at that time because taking care of myself had become a burden, not something that gave me pleasure and made me feel good about myself.

I'm never going to be "that girl" that wakes up at 5, goes running, and has her day organized at 10 AM, that's just too far from my reality.

The bottom line

Just be yourself, ask for help when you need it, love yourself, accept your limitations, and take baby steps to wellness, you can't learn to run before you learn to crawl.

Aniela Dybiec

Aniela is a writer who loves art, makeup, and magick. She is also an amateur illustrator, a wellness fan and a vegetarian.+ info

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