Even if you haven't heard of this passive-aggressive behavior, the chances are that you've experienced it. Here's how to identify a guilt trip and how to deal wilt it.
People can make you feel guilty sometimes, and it is not always because they are being mean, it might be because they don't know how to deal with their feelings.
Guilt trip explained
Guilt-tripping is a kind of behavior that is characterized by someone making a person feel guilty rather than saying why they are upset. It is a common form of manipulation that often goes unnoticed.
It is wrong because it involves shaming the other person for making remarks and blaming them to make them act in a particular way or stop doing something. It is not gaslighting, because gaslighting involves denying someone's reality and feelings and making them question themselves, on the other hand, guilt-tripping makes the affected person feel, well, guilty -for something that they have done or not.
- If you feel like you haven't done anything wrong and they make comments meant to make you feel guilty.
- Making you feel as if you owe them.
- Refusing to say what the problem is, still, acting upset.
- Telling you that they don't mean anything to you or passive-aggressive behavior.
- Not paying attention or giving affection as a form of punishment.
Be alert when someone makes you feel guilty and you don't quite understand why.
Why do people use guilt-tripping?
It is often a twisted way of getting attention, sympathy or compassion. But instead of saying directly what made them upset, they try to make us feel the way they do.
What to do about it
Be as honest as you can, if you feel like you've hurt them say you are sorry and state that you don't appreciate the fact that they were insincere.
If you think that you've been blamed for something that you haven't done, establish boundaries or remove yourself from the conversation.
Understand that some people haven't developed healthy tools to deal with their emotions, but this does not mean that you have to carry this burden, be as open as you can about your feelings, and don't be afraid to remove yourself from the conversation if you feel that you've been hurt.