A nobody's guide to overcoming self-doubt A nobody's guide to overcoming self-doubt

A nobody's guide to overcoming self-doubt

Self-doubt could be sabotaging your professional and personal growth. Whether not being confident hinders your possibilities of getting a new job, making new friends, or dating, there are some steps you can take to improve.

Let me start by saying that there is no magical recipe to overcome our problems. Changing personality traits takes time and effort, and you have to be prepared to have some drawbacks – don't be hard on yourself. We all have our internal struggles and it is sometimes inevitable to ask yourself whether you are good enough at your job, a hobby, or in your social life. To say the least, self-doubt could be annoying, and while in mild cases it will not prevent you from living your life, in more severe cases it can cause a lot of damage. But where does it come from?

Some possible causes of self-doubt

Some possible causes of self-doub

After years of therapy and lots of self-help books read, I think I understand where self-doubt comes from. Of course, I wouldn't dare diagnose the root causes of anyone's issues and if you are undergoing too much stress I highly recommend looking for professional counseling. That said, while it is true that self-doubt can happen for several reasons and it could vary from individual to individual, there are generally some common causes. 

1. Childhood and upbringing

If your parents had exceptionally high expectations, tended to be disappointed by us regularly, or didn’t really allow space to do things on our own, it can lead to fostering ideas of not being enough that when left unattended is very difficult to uproot.

2. Being too focused on others

Empaths have a hard time trusting themselves while helping others and considering them is an amazing thing. So more often than not, it is harmful to be so focused on others' goals that you forget your needs. If you feel your best when you are making some other person happy, what happens if they are not happy? That is the danger of attaching our worth to some other person’s happiness.

3. Fixating

We are every day bombarded with a lot of standards as to what our friendships should be, what a perfect relationship is, what a successful job is and what’s beautiful and what’s not. This triggers feelings of falling short of those imposed demands and of course makes you doubt yourself. The constant comparisons we face on social media may cause us to fixate on them and damage our self-esteem.

A nobody's guide to overcoming self-doubt

A nobody's guide to overcoming self-doubt

1. Find the cause

If you grew up not believing that you had the capacity for success, you have to find a way to unlearn those harmful thought patterns and behaviors. This is not an easy task, but going to therapy is a great idea to identify the problem and find a way to tackle it.

2. You are the most important person in your life

If you are too focused on others, it's high time you started to find a balance. While at first, it may not feel natural, taking baby steps is the key. One way to refocus on your needs is to write 3 things that will make you happy that day as soon as you wake up. Make a list of the times your opinion or your work has impacted positively other people, and create your own substantial personal foundation to take care of yourself.

3. Don't compare yourself to others

If you find yourself comparing to others too often, you first need to make a difference between what’s a goal and an unhealthy comparison. If you find yourself doubting your life after looking at somebody else’s life, you might want to check if this is something you are willing to work for or if you do so because it is what you are supposed to want. If you decide that you really want it, try to work out the possible steps to get as close as you want to that goal. When your life depends on unrealistic expectations, it is an opportunity for disappointment even worse if these are tied to what you are supposed to be or have. Don’t focus on outcomes, use every day to learn about yourself and what you need.

The bottom line

The goal is to live better and to be consistent with what you believe in. And although these are some tips that have helped me in the past when I wasn't sure I could pull something off, take my advice with a grain of salt, because what works for me, might not work for the rest of the people. 

Aniela Dybiec

Aniela is a writer who loves art, makeup, and magick. She is also an amateur illustrator, a wellness fan and a vegetarian.+ info

Related Articles

More News

More News